Living with FIRE!

THIS is what I want. Not money or fame but to live with significance. No regrets at the end of my life. A rule I live by is to think if it will really matter to me, on my death bed (if I'm lucky enough to contemplate my life this way before death!), at the end of my life. If the answer isn't a clear yes then I know I can move on, even if it seems difficult to let whatever it is go. 

My primary drive has never really been money. Do I want to travel and live comfortably? Of course I do! But if I'm lucky enough to find success in my search for a greater significance, in helping others grow and discover their own potential, to live their BEST life, then that is nothing but an added bonus. I have been so dark, buried in the crap of life, having been dealt a much more difficult hand in most experiences in my life than most. But it never has and never will keep me down and I find great comfort in KNOWING, very deep down in my soul, that there is a greater purpose for me. I'm not satisfied sitting at home, working, eating, sleeping and playing. I love my family to the ends of the world but I I NEED more in life, for myself AND for them. I want to teach my children understanding in a world full of prejudice and assumptions. I want to teach them to not give up when things get tough in a culture of people that quit when the going gets tough. I want to teach them inner strength, resilience and a hard work ethic, to never settle for anything less than their dreams and to NEVER stop dreaming big (and putting in the effort to achieve them). I want to SHOW them by modelling it myself because children learn what you DO, NOT what you SAY. Look around. Often people's children are a mirror reflection of themselves. Mothers with low self-esteem often raise children with low self-esteem. Mothers who struggle with food addiction often raise children who struggle with food addiction. There are always exceptions to the rule but generally speaking our children will very likely become a more modern version of ourselves. With all the baggage I had (anxiety, severe depression, self harm, disordered eating and incredibly seriously low self-esteem) I KNEW I had to make some changes in the way I was living and thinking. It was time to take responsibility. 

 No, I'm not satisfied with the "normal", with disliking my job, missing important moments with my boys. I need something bigger, to reach MORE people in hopes of changing the life of even just one. 

Each and every hardship has been leading me, redirecting me, to the path I'm meant to be on. Each one serving a purpose, I'm sure. Maybe it just helps me cope but there seems to be a pattern when I think about it! When we live with SIGNIFICANCE success comes along for the ride. When we live without significance or when significance takes a backseat that success is often short-lived or doesn't provide the happiness and satisfaction you seek.