Vacationing Fit

As I'm preparing the last details to head out on our family vacation tomorrow I find myself thinking over conversations from the last few weeks. I want to look GOOD in Mexico (probably the first time in my LIFE when I actually feel a little excitement at hanging around in skimpy clothes and a bikini all week aside from the handful of physique competitions I had killed myself to get to. I remember being only 15 or 16 and trying on a bathing suit and feeling that deep, deep self-loathing as I looked in the mirror and VOWED to be skinny by summer. I would cut out pictures of the boniest models I could find to torture myself with. I would stare at those pictures and tear myself a new one each time. What kind of a life is that? Honestly...

I'm feeling a sense of freedom this year I never thought I would be able to TRULY experience. Does that mean I don't think I have any imperfections? Of course not! I have a lot of old stretch marks, my stomach skin after Jaxon takes on a sag and 4-5 little "rolls" from having two incredible little boys. There are many little imperfections... because I'm a PERSON. I have flaws just like you do, but I have been able to get to a place, with many years of personal growth and always taking that next step forward (not easy to do when things seem hopeless and impossible and life throws every challenge it can muster at you- yeah, I've been there too!).

Instead of starving myself for a week or two before my vacation, pre-punishing myself in the gym and kitchen all the while imagining the binge I'm going to unleash at that buffet I'm focussing on the GOOD behaviours and making a conscious effort every day to do more of those. I'm not going to agonize about what I'm eating but I'm also not going to set myself loose like a buffet massacre with that black and white mentality. No. I'm done with that. Took me 20 years to learn that verbally abusing myself, black and white thinking and severe restriction and starvation NEVER end well. What do you mean I can eat carbs and have abs? Letting go of that mentality wasn't easy, don't get me wrong! It was devastating, actually. That was everything I knew, every day! And it's NOT going to be easy for you, either. Anything worthwhile, especially personal growth, ONLY comes in that discomfort zone. THAT'S when the real growth happens.