I'm in a magazine!! The Secrets Behind Before and After Photo's

I'm in a magazine ;) :D

I won a contest once that was supposed to get me a magazine ad. I didn't feel good about that ad and was relieved it never ran. Why? Because 6ish weeks later I'd gained 30lbs and felt full of shame. I was struggling with depression and my body was weak and running in constant stress after overtraining and dieting myself for just 6 weeks. This isn't just lack of willpower or weakness. I felt desperate and ashamed of myself, like I'd let my followers down. I struggled to get a grip and couldn't figure out what had happened to me, my mind, my body. I quit my gym and found a new one. For two years I struggled to heal, physiologically and physically. If you've been following my blogs you'll have read the series "Behind the Muscle" where I talk about my dieting journey through the gravel and stone, winding paths and straight up land slides. I didn't just wake up knowing where I was and where to go, it took a lot of self-realization and refusing to live in denial. I had to change my course dozens of times and I failed miserably so many times, doing so much damage so many different ways.

For once it became about HEALTH. Even when contest dieting it seemed to be about starting at crazy low calories, starving, exhaustion and spending hours in the gym. I felt motivated and determined, I was convinced I was doing the best I ever had in my life. I was my fittest, running at 10mph at full incline, doing 2 hours of cardio a day with an hour of circuits (another way to sky-rocket heart rate) on zero carbs with a child. I felt like super woman! So imagine the devastation when it all came crashing down and I realized I had done it wrong the whole time... I had allowed it to happen, chosen to do what I did because I was truly convinced it was what I was supposed to do.

Not every program out there is perfect for everyone, no matter how beneficial and perfect and there are thousands out there that help people (not necessarily making it a healthy option but you're doing what you can with where you're at!) but I can tell you that THIS was exactly what I needed and played a huge part in the path of my life going forward. That isn't everyone's story and this isn't an advertisement for anyone or any company. I won't give you any links on where to buy my products and how much to pay me. This is about the PHILOSOPHY that changed my life. Hehe, that's what Jim Rohn says, by the way! But this is EXACTLY what describes what happened.

Suddenly I began to realize that I was missing the most important part, the part I was refusing to acknowledge was possibly a cause of many of my struggles in life. The pages of my life flash before me- bulimia, over-exercise, over-dieting, diet pils, fad diets, highly restrictive diets cutting out a long list of foods, obsessively counting calories, stimulants and strange diet set ups. I spent hours a day obsessing over MACRO-nutrients (calories, protein, carbs and fat) and simply assumed because I was exercising and eating "healthy" foods that I was meeting all my MICRO-nutrient requirements. I was doing it SO wrong for SO many years. FInally realizing that and accepting it as fact was hard. I had to admit that, though I may know a LOT about things, I was absolutely wrong and missed some seriously important details. AND I like to control things when possible (shocking, right?). What a blow to my ego. But once I made that realization, sucked up my pride and understood that it's FINE to make mistakes, just so long as we are always looking for ways to SOLVE the problem and move forward. LEARN from it. You can't be upset at yourself for screwing something up you didn't even have the knowledge the KNOW you were screwing up with the first time. We do the best with what we have and unfortunately we simply sn't just lack of willpower or weakness. I felt desperate and ashamed of myself, like I'd let my followers down. I struggled to get a grip and couldn't figure out what had happened to me, my mind, my body. I quit my gym and found a new one. For two years I struggled to heal, physiologically and physically. If you've been following my blogs you'll have read the series "Behind the Muscle" where I talk about my dieting journey through the gravel and stone, winding paths and straight up land slides. I didn't just wake up knowing where I was and where to go, it took a lot of self-realization and refusing to live in denial. I had to change my course dozens of times and I failed miserably so many times, doing so much damage so many different ways.

For once it became about HEALTH. Even when contest dieting it seemed to be about starting at crazy low calories, starving, exhaustion and spending hours in the gym. I felt motivated and determined, I was convinced I was doing the best I ever had in my life. I was my fittest, running at 10mph at full incline, doing 2 hours of cardio a day with an hour of circuits (another way to sky-rocket heart rate) on zero carbs with a child. I felt like super woman! So imagine the devastation when it all came crashing down and I realized I had done it wrong the whole time... I had allowed it to happen, chosen to do what I did because I was truly convinced it was what I was supposed to do.

Not every program out there is perfect for everyone, no matter how beneficial and perfect and there are thousands out there that help people (not necessarily making it a healthy option but you're doing what you can with where you're at!) but I can tell you that THIS was exactly what I needed and played a huge part in the path of my life going forward. That isn't everyone's story and this isn't an advertisement for anyone or any company. I won't give you any links on where to buy my products and how much to pay me. This is about the PHILOSOPHY that changed my life. Hehe, that's what Jim Rohn says, by the way! But this is EXACTLY what describes what happened.

Suddenly I began to realize that I was missing the most important part, the part I was refusing to acknowledge was possibly a cause of many of my struggles in life. The pages of my life flash before me- bulimia, over-exercise, over-dieting, diet pils, fad diets, highly restrictive diets cutting out a long list of foods, obsessively counting calories, stimulants and strange diet set ups. I spent hours a day obsessing over MACRO-nutrients (calories, protein, carbs and fat) and simply assumed because I was exercising and eating "healthy" foods that I was meeting all my MICRO-nutrient requirements. I was doing it SO wrong for SO many years. FInally realizing that and accepting it as fact was hard. I had to admit that, though I may know a LOT about things, I was absolutely wrong and missed some seriously important details. AND I like to control things when possible (shocking, right?). What a blow to my ego. But once I made that realization, sucked up my pride and understood that it's FINE to make mistakes, just so long as we are always looking for ways to SOLVE the problem and move forward. LEARN from it. You can't be upset at yourself for screwing something up you didn't even have the knowledge the KNOW you were screwing up with the first time. We do the best with what we have and unfortunately we simply are not born with the knowledge or skills, may have never been taught the REAL information (let's face it, there's a LOT of misinformation out there), or have simply had a misguided mindset at the time.

I felt so much better about this one. Not ashamed, no secrets, no gimmicks and I was truly and honestly the healthiest I had ever been in my life. NOT the skinniest. In fact I was 20lbs heavier in that photo than when I was at my lightest, stepping on stage to compete in figure and bikini. But I felt 1000x BETTER, about myself, my life, my lifestyle and most importantly in terms of my health. Many health "ailments" and vague symptoms I thought were normal began to improve and eventually all but disappear. I got rid of migraines, chronic headaches, extreme constipation issues, chronic fatigue, random pains and malaise.

I see so many suffer with this same mindset, working so hard, trying time and time again only to fail and never really understanding why. For some, it may be your internal philosophy. A desire to SHOULD be focussed on health, not an easy task when everything is calorie and weight (number) focussed. We should not have to feel awful to lose weight, we should not have to live without our favorite things (again, some have medical recommendations that require this or absolutely CAN live a truly healthy and balanced lifestyle with heavy restrictions but for many it's a recipe for disaster). We should not have to spend hours working or need to hire a personal chef, we should not have to take half the day to prep 5 or 6 fresh meals, we should not have to completely overhaul our entire lives to feel and live better. That always starts WITHIN.

<3

Chelsea